The Man in the Arena: Your Hero’s Journey

We love stories about heroes.

The young man who leaves home on a great adventure. The athlete who refuses to quit. The soldier who stands when everyone else retreats. The father who fights his way back from the edge and saves his family. Maybe the hero is a grandpa who seemed to always know the right answer and whose presence changed everything.

We watch the stories of our heroes and recognize their Hero’s Journey. But it's often much harder to recognize our own. Because when you're living it, life doesn't feel heroic.

It feels like Tuesday.

Our Hero’s Journey feels like sitting in your car outside your college class, wondering if you're smart enough to be there. It feels like walking the small hallway at home at 2:17 in the morning with a fussy baby, knowing your alarm goes off in three hours.

It feels like staring at bills, you don't know how you're going to pay. It feels like throwing away another pack of cigarettes and wondering if this attempt will be any different. It feels like being 40 years old and realizing you're not sure what you want to do with the next 40.

It doesn't feel like a Hero’s Journey.

But maybe that's because we've misunderstood what heroes look like.

Heroes Don't Usually Set Out to Become Heroes

I don't think most heroes wake up one morning and decide to become heroic. They're trying to do something that matters. Raise a family. Finish school. Build something. Serve someone. Break a destructive pattern. Start a business. Pursue a dream. Repair a relationship. Abandon an addiction. Follow through with a prompting to become healthier. Find and act on their purpose.

And somewhere along the way. Life gets hard. Harder than expected.

That's where the journey really begins.

The hero isn't created when the trophy is handed out. The hero is being created long before anyone knows how the story ends. Theodore Roosevelt described this hero of a man as:

“…The man who's actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly….”

That's you. Right now.

You may be tired. You may be discouraged. You may have failed yesterday. You may not know exactly where you're going. You may feel lost or alone.

But you're in the arena.

Maybe You're Hearing the Call

Sometimes the hero’s call is obvious. Often it isn't. Sometimes it's just a thought that keeps returning.

I need to change.

I want to start something.

I want to be a better husband or father.

I should go back to school.

I need to get control of our finances.

It’s time to start a business.

I can't keep living like this. There has to be something more.

Maybe you've been wandering, but that doesn't mean you're lost. Sometimes we wander because something inside us knows we've outgrown where we've been. So, we search, we experiment, we pray, we read, we talk to people, and we think.

We try something and discover it isn't right. Then we try something else. Eventually, something begins pulling us forward.

You don't need the entire map. You need enough courage to just take the next step.

Small Steps Don't Look Heroic

Movies make transformation look fast. Cue the music…Luke Skywalker leaves Tatooine as a young man who barely understands the Force. And before long, he's receiving a medal, after taking a stand against the Empire. Harry Potter walks into Hogwarts as an eleven-year-old boy who barely know the magical world exists, and before long, we’re watching him stand victoriously against forces he never imagined he would face.

Real life doesn't move that fast. There's no scene change that skips over the hundreds and thousands of small seemingly insignificant decisions, failures, lessons and attempts that shape who the hero become.

Real life doesn't skip ahead to the moment when you're finally ready. There are years between discovering who you might become and actually becoming that person. Years of learning, failing, friendships, fear, practice, setbacks, and choosing to keep going. Real life is making it to tomorrow morning and the morning after.

One class. One payment. One workout. One difficult conversation. One prayer. One phone call asking for help. One day without the addiction. One decision not to open the website. One night when you put your phone down and just talk with someone.

It doesn't look like much.

But stack those decisions. Stack those small and simple actions. Days become months, months become years, and eventually those small decisions create a life. And more importantly, they create a man.

Your Future Self is Watching

There will be parts of your journey when you cannot see the summit. You may wonder whether you're making any progress at all. You may look around and think everyone else has figured something out that you haven't. You may feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back.

Keep walking.

Take the next class. Create the next podcast. Make the next payment. Write the next article. Have the conversation. Submit the job application. Get through today. Ask for help. Try again.

You don't have to know how the story ends to take the next step.

And when you're tired, when you’re worn down, when you wonder whether any of these small decisions matter, picture meeting someone farther down the road. This man seems to have it all. He has the wisdom, the success, and the results that you’ve always wanted. He knows exactly what it took to get there.

You discover that this man is you.

Picture the man you will become. The one who made it through. Hear him calling out to you:

Don't you quit. Keep going. I'm so glad you're not giving up.

Everything good in my life right now traces back to these days you chose to keep going. The nights you stayed in the fight, the moments you got back up, and the times you chose courage over comfort.

Thank you. I'm living a life you can't fully see yet. And it exists because you didn't quit.

Keep your head up. It will all work out in the end.

I'm living a life you cannot fully see yet. My life is better than you can imagine. And it exists because you didn't quit. I’m proud of you. Thank you for doing the work so I can enjoy the life I have today…the life you built.

But He Isn't the Hero

Your future self isn't the hero of this story.

You are.

The hero is the man standing in the arena before there is proof that any of this will work. The man who struggles. The man who doubts. The man who sometimes falls. The man who endures sleepless nights and quietly sacrifices more than anyone will ever know. The man who picks himself up. The man who keeps trying. The man who keeps doing his best.

That's where heroism lives.

Not in never struggling. Not in doing everything alone.

Sometimes courage means asking for help, turning towards someone who will listen and maybe offer some perspective and support. Sometimes it means changing direction, to boldly trying something new. Sometimes it means admitting something isn't working, and sometimes it means resting long enough to stand again. Sometimes it means trusting in yourself, the process, and that it will all work out.

The goal isn’t to never stumble. It's to keep becoming.

Answer the Call

There is a Hero’s Journey happening in your life right now. You may simply be too close to see it.

Your struggle may be developing something you'll need later. Your wandering may be leading you toward something you haven't discovered yet. Your small decisions may be changing the entire trajectory of your family.

And someday, someone may benefit from the man you are becoming right now. Your wife, your children, your grandchildren, a friend. A stranger you haven't met yet. Maybe someday you'll find another man standing where you once stood, and you'll be able to tell him:

Keep coming. I have walked this road. There is more ahead. You can do this.

Perhaps that's how heroes are made.

Not because you set out to become a hero. But because you kept answering the call. Because you stayed in the arena. Because when life asks something more of you, you chose to take another step… and another… and another… and another.

So, forget the entire mountain for a moment.

What is your next small step?

Take it.

Your story is still being written.

And you are the hero.

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Final Note:

In every Hero’s Journey there seems to be a mentor, someone along the way so the hero doesn’t have to walk alone. Sometimes the next step is clear. But often we find ourselves standing in the middle of the arena trying to figure out what comes next. That’s where a coach can help.

I work with men who know there’s something more in them but need help getting clear, getting moving, or continuing when the road gets difficult.

If this resonates with you, let’s jump on a strategy call together. You are the hero of your story. My role is to help you see the path and to keep you moving forward.

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